big_damn_hero

Most life-changing decision I ever made? Once upon a time, might’ve said it was signing on to fight a war. ‘Nother time, I might’ve said losing that war changed my life more ‘n anything.

And while I have to say that finding a rundown little Firefly class boat in a shipyard nigh on a decade ago did a lot to change my life, it was two things she brought me that really changed my life in ways I never thought was possible.

First was a strange little girl with a few screws loose in her skull...screws the Alliance loosened. Now I’ll be the first to admit, River’s a real nice girl...she’s just crazy. And I ain’t one to hold that against her...not when it ain’t her fault. Alliance ain’t but a bunch of liars and con men, and even smart folk can get swindled. She got hers tricked away from her, and that ain’t none of her doing.

That addlepated little waif shoved me into more gorram mess than a man, woman, or child could or *should* ever be fixed to handle. Some of it was necessary...some of it wasn’t. But all of it changed me. Changed how I thought...changed what I felt, the way I went about my day. Some of those changes were for the better, and some weren’t...but they made me who I am today.

And for better or for worse...I like that man fine. And not many can say that in this or any other lifetime.

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Only one other decision ever changed my life noticeably...and that was the day I fired my mechanic and hired Inara Serra.

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Muse: Malcolm Reynolds
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Words: 281

Now I ain’t a man given to tomfoolery or messin’ about on my boat. Most days, it’s too serious a matter just gettin’ by in the black, and pranks ain’t exactly what I’d call productive. Still, probably most in the times when you start to understand why a man might get so far gone he’d go wild like them Reavers done, jokes and the like are a downright necessity.

So to answer yer question...yes. I’ve pulled my share of pranks and no good, given that I’ve been in my fair share of life and death situations...fightin’ in the war and survivin’ in a world like mine. Too often we get to that point...where we’re either gonna laugh or shoot ourselves in the head.

And lemme tell ya, for a man ain’t prone to jokes, I’ve pulled some doozies...everything from knotting ol’ Doc Sutton’s boot laces together in a foxhole to writing dirty limericks on some of Inara’s calligraphy stationary when she ain’t lookin’. But the best...the top of my game was the day Simon and his sister first boarded my little boat and I told him Kaylee was dead after he’d busted hisself savin’ her life.

Now lookin’ back, I done seen the error of my ways...it was wrong of me to do. It was mean, and cruel, and just plain wrong.

But holy hell, was it ever *funny.*

And if I want to be honest with myself, after lookin’ in on her and seein’ she was gonna live that day...I reckon I was more ‘n a little giddy with relief, not to mention damn surprised. Think I felt so damn unsettled ‘cause I figgered she was gone...but not on Dr. Tam’s watch.

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I’ll never say it to his face if I can help it...but the boy’s got a rare gift. And I’m always gonna be grateful for that, ‘cause losin’ a smile like Kaylee’s would be a damn crime if ever there was one.

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Muse: Malcolm Reynolds
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Words: 335

Folks say that self-preservation’s one of them base instinct things...part of you that yer just born with, like an animal’s born to hunt and eat. That it keeps a fella alive when all else might make him do some fool thing like get hisself killed.

I’m here to tell ya that’s a jung chi duh go-se dway...I ain’t gonna deny that self-preservation’s instinct, and damn powerful, but it don’t trump all. Never has, never will. Ain’t all of it is inborn, after all...just a bit. The rest comes from what’s around you...growing up, bein’ raised with the idea that your life’s more important than anyone else’s. The notion that survival’s all there is.

During the war, men died senselessly...but they didn’t die for no reason. They died better ‘n the opposition did...eyes wide open, with a belief in freedom from a government that wanted us all buttoned down and fit to profile, dong ma? They wanted better for themselves and their own...and they gave their lives for it.

So you riddle me this...if it’s so gorram ingrained to save yer own hide ‘stead of letting a buncha ruttin’ pigs like the Alliance own you, or letting a friend die at the hands of a killer, or even protecting yer child from them that’d do him harm...why ain’t there more live saints ‘stead of a buncha dead martyrs?

Muse: Malcolm Reynolds
Fandom: Firefly/Serenity
Words: 237